I’ll admit that I dwell too much on being single and all the negative things that come with it: being lonely, missing out on fun couple stuff, not having given my awesome, loving parents a grandchild to spoil yet, being a work-a-holic because it’s not like I have anyone to come home to, blah blah…. But, with everything there are pros and cons. This post is about the pros, the benefits of being single…..
- Improved cardiovascular fitness and calorie burn. Okay, get your minds out of the gutter. I am not talking about the cardio endurance that comes from weekly one-night stands. I am a classy woman, please! I am referring to the fact that stair master minutes go by twice a fast when you are thumbing through Tinder and Bumble profiles. I swear a 30-minute sweat session will pass like a breeze when you are aimlessly swiping left digging for something worthy of a swipe right.
- The potential surprise and uncertainty of what will be my fate that day is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Will I meet my swole mate in the squat rack at the gym? …Or will a white guy online ask me if I’d like to make a human Oreo in a threesome with two of his black friends? The former is much more likely, though I pray for both each night equally.
- Talking to my cats (full blown conversations) without being judged.
- Having whatever the heck I want for dinner every night. If I want to have a huge bowl of veggies and then an entire pint of Halo Top ice cream for dinner, I will. Balance.
- Not having to clean up a man’s body hair from the bathroom. For some reason 1.5 ft. long blond hairs all over are far less offensive than short brown/black chest/back/head/pubic hair. And speaking of cleaning: the task is completed much faster when I am single because I used to have my ex grabbing my ass as I was bent over cleaning the toilet. Not the most romantic of settings.
- Not having to shave my legs until I want to, or until I am getting ready for a date where I think things might go farther than PG-13. Talk about time savings! I do actually worry about when I meet someone, what I will have to give up in my life to make time for shaving.
- Not having to share closet space. I have three closets and they are all full to brim with clothes and shoes. There is simply just no space for someone else’s stuff. I honestly can’t recall where I put all my stuff when I was living with my ex.
- I can mercilessly check out any good-looking man who crosses my path. The guy with the amazing squat booty at the gym or the sales guy who comes to my work to try to sell us chemicals. Unfortunately in the later scenario I came to front desk at work with a hairnet on and lab coat covered in ice cream and chocolate sauce. Not my best look. Still tried to flirt.
- Sleeping like starfish in my bed with my limbs spread out as far as possible. While of course having respect for the placement and comfort level of the cats sleeping nearby.
- Movie choices. If I want to watch Bridesmaids, He’s Just Not That Into You, or the Notebook for the 100th time I will. And by the way, I regret every single time I slip into accidentally watching the Notebook. I end up super depressed and lonely and have to take a sleeping pill. Okay… sorry, trying to keep this a positive post. I’ll stop.
- Sex in the City. Can one really truly enjoy this show if they are in a relationship? No. The full effect is best enjoyed while being single AF. You feel like “wow, these women are my soul mates”. See what I did there?
- Christmas time= more presents for me. The money that I would have spent on trying to improve the dress habits of my significant other is now spent on me for things I don’t need. New pair of gym shoes? Sure, why not!
- Not having to worry about whether the person I am dating is in fact right for me. I am an over thinker and a worrier so when I am seeing someone thoughts like that give me anxiety. Again, this is why I am single.
- No thermostat wars. If I want it to feel like a sauna in my house, so be it. And I am paying for my own damn gas bill anyways, so turn it up.
- The ability to sleep in on Saturdays until whenever the heck I want and not be bothered.
- Not having to answer to anyone about how I carry myself and what I do with my body. If I want to get 30+ body piercings, wear black nail polish and be a tan-o-holic and bake in the sun with no sunscreen on, I will. And I will own it.
I will likely be the last of all my friends to get married and have kids, so by then they will have figured out exactly what to do and not to do and I will in the meantime just be taking notes.
Cheesy alert for these last two…
- The notion that I still have not met the love of my life and that someone is out there, just haven’t found each other yet. For me this is huge because I was with someone for a significant period of my life. High school acquaintances turned college sweethearts, but when one of you grows up faster than the other and you’re both not trying enough, even one time wonderful things come to an end. I am very much seeking that love and connection again and being single and not settling for anything less is sort of nice. Nice in a bittersweet, often lonely way.
- Being single is empowering. I look to all that I have accomplished, and for the most part it has been on my own. And sure it would be great to be sharing it with someone but until that right person comes around I am not forcing anything and will continue to (try) and enjoy fabulous single life.